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It’s not because of I was changed. Maybe a bit. But doesn’t mean I hate to call you or to be called.

My life is different now. Not everything can be told. Because sometimes it’s hurting when I tried to tell someone about my life. I don’t wanna hurt you. And I think you don’t want to hurt me too. I also afraid that you’ll open the wound that I tried to burn. Better to keep quiet. I don’t wanna have words war. Because I only have wrong words. You’re not wrong, they’re not wrong. Just me who stupid can’t find the connection. You have your own idealism, they have their own opinion, and I have mine. Sometimes I just need a peace. A me time. Without you, without them or else. Just me. Sometimes better to heal my self on my own way.

I don’t really like to chit-chat with anyone. I don’t like to talk to others. And sometimes even to you. I’m so tired to be sweet. Lie with good stories. As if I’m fine. I know when I’m wrong and when I’m not, but sometimes you make it complicated and mixed up everything. Still for these 14 years I did all our regular, your rule. Just because I only like your smile & laughter. I’m not a good daughter. I was not different than others. But you hate them and told me to be different. Sorry if I make you disappointed. But I can’t be good like them who you loved. I can’t be like them. I’m not changed, just tired to act and wear that mask. So please forgive me. I just can’t pretend anymore. I need time for now. Pray for me please, if you have time. Maybe, the old me can be back.

Always love you.